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Pear Belle Helene
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by Pear Belle Helene » 12/11/08, 20:42

It is a dwarf who goes to his gyneco ...
- Doctor, it's terrible!
>> Every time it rains, my crotch is burning, my cock on fire!
>> - I don't see anything in particular, no inflammation. Come back to me when
>> it will rain.
>> - Ok.
>> 8 days later, while it is raining heavily, the dwarf returns to the
>> gynecologist.
>> - Doctor, it's terrible, it's burning me, I'm on fire again!
>> - Lie down.
>> After examining it he said:
>> - Don't move. I see what it is!
>> He's going to look for an instrument and crack, snap, crack. She hears him operate. 2
>> minutes later he said to her:
>> - It's over. Get up and walk.
>> The dwarf gets up, takes a few steps, and cries:
>> - I have no more pain, not at all! Doctor, you are extraordinary!
>> - Do not exaggerate anything! I just shortened your rubber boots !!!


: Mrgreen: : Mrgreen:
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Gregconstruct
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by Gregconstruct » 12/11/08, 21:41

It's actually a two-ball joke ... : Mrgreen:
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Every action counts for our planet !!!
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Pear Belle Helene
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posts: 389
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Location: South
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by Pear Belle Helene » 22/11/08, 21:12

One day, my husband's 'homemaker' decides to wash his football shirt.
> A few seconds after entering the laundry room, he yells at me:
> - 'Which cycle do I use for the machine?'
> - 'It depends, I answer him, what is written on your jersey?'
> He shouts at me:
> - 'PSG'
> And they will say that there are only blondes ... : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen:
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Pear Belle Helene
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by Pear Belle Helene » 23/11/08, 09:54

SNCF (always in these times of strike ...)
The station hall is deserted. A man comes to the ticket office to buy his ticket.
The wicketkeeper, without even raising his nose, said to him:
- No nervousness! Each turn!
The traveler, astonished, looks around and sees no one. He renews his request and has the same kind response from the employee.
So, angry, the customer bends over and slaps her.
The attendant gets up screaming:
- But what is the jerk who just slapped me?
The traveler responds very calmly:
- With this crowd, go know!

: Mrgreen:
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Flytox
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by Flytox » 23/11/08, 10:45

Image
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Reason is the madness of the strongest. The reason for the less strong it is madness.
[Eugène Ionesco]
http://www.editions-harmattan.fr/index. ... te&no=4132
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Pear Belle Helene
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by Pear Belle Helene » 27/11/08, 08:08

A little boy says to his dad:

-Papa, Dad, did you know we could have babies in a test tube?

-Yes I knew, I even made two in a pitcher!


: Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen:
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Capt_Maloche
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by Capt_Maloche » 27/11/08, 13:34

Yes, and that's why we do not fill a jug upside down

Arf! Image
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"Consumption is similar to a search consolation, a way to fill a growing existential void. With, the key, a lot of frustration and a little guilt, increasing the environmental awareness." (Gérard Mermet)
OUCH, OUILLE, OUCH, AAHH! ^ _ ^
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Pear Belle Helene
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by Pear Belle Helene » 27/11/08, 21:25

A guy is walking along the Adour Bayonne and he stumbles
> on an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and a genie comes out.
> The genius, said to him: 'you can be delighted: I grant you a wish!'
> - The guy sits down and thinks for a long time.
> After a while, he makes up his mind and asks:
> - I have always dreamed of a trip to Tahiti, unfortunately I'm afraid of flying and I'm seasick.
> - Can you build a bridge for me as far as Tahiti, so that I can get there by car? '
> The genie doesn't say anything for a few seconds, then bursts out laughing: "It's impossible!"
>
> Think about what to use to support such a bridge, think about the concrete that will have to be poured, the tons of steel ...
> I'm a genius, OK, but I can't work miracles ...
> You still have to stay within the realm of reason!
> No, ask me something else, it's really too complicated! '
>
> - The guy starts to think again. After a few minutes, he finds something else:
>
> I have been married and divorced 4 times.
> My wives have always told me that I am not interested in them and that I am insensitive.
> So what I would like is ... Understand women.
> Know what they are feeling, and what they are thinking when they are silent.
> Know why they cry, what they really mean when they say no ...
> To be able to make them happy .. In short, to understand their psychology. '
>
> - The genie looks at him for a long time, then asks:
>
> - The bridge, you want it with 2 or 4 lanes?


: Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen: : Mrgreen:
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Pear Belle Helene
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by Pear Belle Helene » 27/11/08, 21:27

I received this email ..........

To all those who still think they are young, and NO!
Many students who entered the university this year were born in 86 (the year of Coluche's death).

They never sang "We are the world, we are the children" or "Ca, c'est aussi toi" ... nor heard of smurf.

For them, AIDS and unemployment have always existed.

The Twix were never called Raiders (2 appetite suppressant fingers) and the M & Ms were never called Treets (melt in the mouth not in the hand).

And they are not aware of Grosquik's unfair dismissal because of his overweight replaced by a ridiculous rabbit on Nesquik's packs.

And they never played Atari console, Commodore 64, Amstrad's CPC6128. They do not even know Pac Man.

They have never seen 5 inch1 / 4 floppy disks. They laugh at you when you tell them that the first PCs did not have a hard disk and that the screens had only one color.

The CD appeared when they were barely 1 year and they never had Chantal Goya's xNUMX laps or record-ups.

They do not know what it's like to listen to the radio long wave, do not know how old TVs were and can not explain how to do without a remote control and how to watch black and white TV.

They never saw sight on a TV screen!

They totally do not know who Candy is, the Prince of Euphor and even the danger of a Golgoth.

They believe that James Bond has always been Pierce Brosnan, they do not think of the teeth of the sea when they bathe.

They believe that the Eph legs are an invention of the 2000 years and that the wired phone is a science fiction object, that the Minitel is only a retro decorative object.

For them roller skates have always had wheels in line and Mickaël Jackson has always been white.

They do not believe you when you tell them that Yannick Noah was a tennis player before and he won Roland Garros 3 years before they were born ..

They do not know that Fonzie is the coolest guy on Earth.

They know that Giscard is an ex but an ex what?

They do not care about your face when you explain to them, while they play Playstation2, that you're having so much fun with yourScreen.

So tell yourself, those people who came back to university this year ...
It's THE young people now!


Here are some symptoms of your aging:
- You understand the text above and you smile and say to yourself "Holy shit, but it's also true".
- You realize when you read the newspapers that a lot of show biz people are younger than you.
- You sometimes have back pain and you have some remedies in your bedside table or in the drawer of your office for headaches, upset stomach ...
"The children are telling you now, madam or sir, and you are coming to me. Your
- obliged to put away your clothes yourself.
- A lot of your friends are married now and some even have one or more kids.
- You practically do not go to the Mac Do.
- You think that the France-Germany of the 82 world was much more striking than the victory of 98 (if you are male, because otherwise you do not have too much opinion on the question).
- You go to the beach but you can spend all day without bathing. If you go swimming, you always think about getting your belly.
- You think there are a lot of gifts for children today compared to what you had at the time.
- You need a whole day to recover from a well-watered evening (yes, admit it).
After reading this e-mail, you decide to send it to other OLD friends, saying that there is no reason they should not have a little depression like you, thinking about time passing by...
Do not forget, old age is when:
- Making love in a car is absurd.
- There is more food than alcoholic drinks in your fridge.
- 6h00 morning is the time when you get up, not the one you go to bed.
- Your favorite music goes in the elevator.
- You always have an umbrella in the car and you look at the weather forecast.
- Your friends are getting married and getting divorced.
- Jeans and T-shirts are no longer considered everyday clothes.
- Falling asleep in the couch gives a fucking backache.
- Your vacation has gone from 130 days / year to 25.
- You go to the pharmacy to buy aspirin instead of going to buy condoms.
- You have breakfast at breakfast time.
- You do not drink alone at home before going out to save money.
- You do not make sleepless nights anymore because it's too tiring.
- And the most important...
You are reading this email and you are desperately looking for a sign that does not apply to you, and, to avenge you, you send this email to your friends so that they, too, remember that they are old.
N / A!
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Gregconstruct
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by Gregconstruct » 27/11/08, 21:36

I have never known the Treets or Grosquick : Mrgreen:
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Every action counts for our planet !!!

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